How to create a new habit ?
Part 1
Know thyself - Socrate
January 1, 2019: Conversation between two friends:
● Alexis: "So what's your resolution for this new year?"
● Lois: "From today on, I'm getting into sports. The program: weight training every day, weight gain and a new lifestyle. I'm super motivated! ”
January 23, 2019: Return of conversation between the same friends:
● Alexis: “What about this new program, is it keeping up ?!”
● Lois: “Well, it went a bit wrong, you know, fatigue, work, long story .... Fancy a beer? :) “
Now between us, we all went through this situation right ?! Being very motivated for the first week, and unfortunately, less and less as the weeks go by.
But you know what ?! You shouldn’t worry about it, it's normal and even natural.
So why is it so complicated to hold on for the long term?
We can explain it in several ways:
● Problem of habit
● Too much motivation
● No will
● No deep reason for wanting to change
Establishing new habits must come from a real desire to want to change. Something that comes from your heart and a strong reason for wanting a change. I use the verb “to want”, because it implies will, and not motivation. If you want to get into sports just for exercising and wanting this summer body for the holidays, you will not last 2 weeks. On the other hand, if you want to workout and have this summer body because you want to please others, gain self-confidence, and you know it will necessarily bring you something new in life, you will become more motivated and you will keep your will to change.
First option, and the most interesting: find yourself a deep reason to want to change!
This is one of the key points to change and create a new habit. If you want to change, find yourself a deep reason for this change. Let me take the example of Lois, who was motivated to workout on January 1, 2019. He already saw himself with his abs on the beach in July. Unfortunately, and like many people, this natural motivation decreases over time.
And you know why ? Scientifically speaking, Lois has nothing to do with it. His brain and, in general, your brain, are playing tricks on us. We can't blame him.
Let's try to understand it. Hang on, I'll try to explain:
Part one: The prefrontal cortex
Our motivation is located in our brain cavity, directly in an area called the prefrontal cortex. This is the most rational, but unfortunately the weakest part of our brain. The part that has no will. It will be there to make the best decision at a certain moment ("Today, I quit smoking, I get into sport, I quit alcohol", blah-blah-blah ...), but will then leave you on your own. As a general rule, the first days will go very well: big workout sessions, healthy meals, etc. (This is the principle of marginal utility: The first glass of water is always more pleasant than the second, then the third etc). Curiously over time, we will quietly let ourselves go of the profit of our habits. Why ? Because our motivation will be influenced by several factors including:
- fatigue,
- hunger,
- energy,
- etc.
It is generally at this moment that we say sentences like "I am lazy, I am tired, I am hungry, I have no energy, tomorrow I will be in better shape to do it ... "
At this point, our motivation just disappeared and is being replaced by the second actor: The basal ganglia.
Part two: the basal ganglia
The basal ganglia is the area where the habits are located!
Little reminder: our habits are the set of daily actions and gestures of your body that do not require effort.
It is also in this area that is located our stratium, responsible for the creation of ..... Dopamine! Our brain will naturally calculate our energy expenditure for the benefit of our perceived reward. If the effort required is too great and the reward too low, we skip it.. Somewhere, it makes sense ;) ! Our habits take over, despite our motivation.
This is why Lois prefers his beer to his workout session. It’s still more pleasant to lift your elbow than to lift weight, especially if the 6-pack still didn’t appear after two weeks, shit !
Anyways, you get it, our brain is a vicious little guy leaving us with the hope that everything will work great, and then quietly bailing on you.
My motivation
Here is what happened in Lois' mind on January 1, 2019:
Prefrontal cortex: "Come on, it's decided, I'm gonna start exercising! I can’t go on like that”
January 15, 2019:
The prefrontal cortex: “Come on let's do some sport”
Basal ganglia: “Are you serious ?! We’ve been working for two weeks and nothing appears. Come on, let's move it to the bar :) ”
A little draw to better understand :
Motivation
Will
Clearly, when your motivation is 100%, there is no need to rely on your will. Easy part :). Now and on the other hand, when your motivation is at 0, you need to remember why you want to change. At that time, you switch from your motivation to your will. This is the key to change over time.
Understand your deep motivations
Behind our desires we often find stronger desires, hidden deep inside, that are not always present in our consciousness. We can therefore aim to lose weight, with this stated motivation to be healthy ... while we refuse to admit to ourselves that we also do this to seduce!
Now, if Lois had really understood his need to change, the situation would have been different. The question to ask is:
Question 1:
Why this desire to start working out? What will it do for me?
Answer:
Gain weight, bodybuilding (Yyyeah, pretty basic answer, can do better dude)
Question 2:
Why this weight gain?
Answer:
Being physically stronger (A little better)
Question 3:
Why be stronger physically?
Answer:
To feel more present (Interesting)
Question 4:
Why feel more present?
Answer:
Finally having more self-confidence and feeling better integrated within my social environment (Here, we got something).
Self-confidence is directly linked to dopamine hormones. Indeed, it allows us a better reproduction and a better status within society.
The example shown the scientific effect on our brain. Here, we get something that allows us to satisfy one of our needs. It sounds stupid, but our brain is made that way.
If we do not fill it with happiness, it won’t help us feel accomplished. It is the principle of give and take.
Useful tip: By the way, in order to really get to know yourself, use the question “why”, asking it to yourself at least FOUR times. It is powerful and allows you to provide concrete answers!
In summary :
Before wanting to create a new habit and / or make a new resolution, analyze yourself and ask, deep inside, if you really want to change and why. Changing is hard because it involves developing new habits that will get you tired over time. You will have to switch from your motivation to your will. This is the key to change. If you REALLY want that change, you must involve your will. To involve your will and stay on course, it is important to remember why you wanted to change in the first place.
Now, nothing is impossible, it's up to you to make the right decisions and actions to begin your internal revolution.